a story of Southern agriculture

sometimes, I just don’t “cut the mustard”



and when I literally don’t cut the mustard, I feel the figurative “don’t cut the mustard.”


When I feel this overarching dullness in my life, I…well, I exhibit what my Farmer considers “species desperation.”


I think there’s only one thing to do when the garden gets away from me, goes wild, overwhelms…shoot, when anything goes wrong in life I’m sure it could be fixed with…

need goat


…going shopping for a goat.*


My Farmer thinks  bringing in a whole new species is a bit much.  I just feel like I need serious reinforcements and good conversation like that from a noisy ruminate.


Coupled with the retail therapy component, I’m convinced procuring a goat may just be the ultimate solution to the predicament I’m in with my garden.  I’m calling it a cloven-hoof-intervention.  The mere thought of the talkative little “hoovers” just makes me smile at life.  Some day, I’ll have another goat…

…last one I had died – they’re harder to keep alive than bovine.  But I’m not daunted – oh no, I will get my goat…

…and my cattleman will like it whether he likes it or not.  Good lookin’ species snob that he is – he may not want to admit that goat is the number one red meat (by volume consumed worldwide), but he’ll forgive me when I tell him the little weedeater is staying or… I’ll not cook beef for a month.   mwahahahaaaa



I envision myself cutting the mustard like never before!

Going caprine…in my mind until my marriage can support it…

Meeeheeeheeeh vs. Moo


P.S. Anna at Goat Girl Gazette – please send help fast. 🙂

P.P.S.  *For a fun goat shopping story, visit the Farmlet.


Do you have a goat?  Does your garden overwhelm you?  The weeds taunt, and my winter gardening intentions are always bigger than my spring/summer availability.  Sympathetic comments, anyone?


15 Responses to “sometimes, I just don’t “cut the mustard””

  1. countrylinked

    Gardens…………….love, hate, need, want, don’t want, outlet, relaxation, stress…..I could go on and on! 🙂

    Best of luck on getting that goat! You are a braver woman than I am!

    Mine is going to be scaled back this year. Mainly sweet corn and cantaloupe. Family favorites and what I seem to be able to raise the best. 🙂


    • Emily Grace

      Hi Laurie,
      I love your garden vocabulary list! So true. I admire your scaling back. I am doing the same now. It wasn’t the plan for this year, but other demands are…well, demanding, so we’re doing eggplant and peppers because the former is a gorgeous easy plant and the peppers because my Farmer loves them. And I’m okay with scaling back – my achiever has relinquished its death grip on how it “ought to be” and my Farmer is talking me out of the goat. I think your cantaloupe and corn sounds amazingly delicious!

      I loved my first goat dearly. He was a rescue adoption and was probably not in the best of health, but I got attached anyway – twas brave and stupid both – ah the things we do for ruminate love!

      Hope planting is going well.

      Best, Emily Grace


    • Emily Grace

      Hi, Teresa. This is my first try growing mustard and it has been easy. I so appreciate its flexible nature thus far in blooming where planted.(:

      And thank you for stopping by. I enjoy your blog and its beautiful photography and content. I’ve been blogging about 7 months and found Food on Fifth through WordPress.


  2. Jaime Silk - Mental Health & Wellness Therapist

    This post is absolutely adorable! I love how your cloven-hoof-intervention gave you some new excitement in your life. I think anything that brings happy and novel thoughts is great therapy to me!


  3. Robyn

    Miss Emily,
    No goats for me. I don’t think I could deal with them being into everything. I have tried a taste of ground goat and didn’t get a great sample. I would love to eat a goat steak or roast.

    I do container gardening. I have old tractor rims. They worked pretty good last year. It’s been to cold and I haven’t started preparing my garden. Maybe this week/weekend. I have a friend that used lick tubs and had great luck with flowers and a few veggies.

    I hope you post a picture of your new goat!


    • Emily Grace

      Hi Robyn,
      They are into things if not contained, but they are so adorable! 🙂

      Goat roast is delicious – just crockpot it all day.

      I love container gardening! I firmly believe patio pots and tractor rims are the way to go. I keep one pot on the back deck for pure pleasure and lettuce and mint. and thai basil. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by! I hope you have a great time getting your garden prepped!

      Emily Grace


  4. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.

    Emily – If you are desperate I’m available for grilled tofu. Yep, grew up on an Angus ranch and have been a vegetarian my entire adult life. I don’t have a reason other than my stomach doesn’t like meat along with a list of other things everyone else likes. I did serve my father his first tofu burger many years ago. He wasn’t thrilled!


    • Emily Grace

      Hi Sheri! Feeding a rancher a tofu burger – I would pay to have seen that! I would have some grilled tofu with my goat roast. 🙂



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